Really?

Well people, the struggle is real.

Did ok today, until this evening. I'm pretty sure I have strep throat and I discovered another something about myself. (Wow, this is like therapy...I really should pay myself)

My discovery? Well, when I don't feel well my mind begins to discuss things with itself, and the discussion goes something like this:

Mind: Hrmm, I don't feel well today.
Self: Well that is unfortunate. What about my workout today?
Mind: Well obviously I don't feel well enough to work out. In fact, it would be downright irresponsible for me to overwork my sickly constitution with physical exercise at this time!
Self: That reeks of sound logic. I would even go so far as to say that it would probably result in unfortunate circumstances if I were to continue to restrict my calories while I am sick...
Mind: Indeed. Well, I think its time to crawl out of bed and see what junk-uhh, comfort food I can find to help ease the pain.
Self: Lead on!

Aaannnnd that's what happened today. NOT awesome. So, although my previous goals are good and I will stick with them for tomorrow, I am going to add yet another one to the mix. I am thinking it will be vastly important in the grand scheme of things, really.

Goal #3! Uhh, how shall I put this...STICK WITH GOALS #1 & 2 FOR ONE WHOLE DAY. I mean, just one day?! How flipping difficult is that?

Tomorrow is the day. Oh, and I am weighing in tomorrow. My shame will at last be quantified.

Is This Thing On??

Sometimes I feel like I am talking and talking and I never listen to myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pretty good pep-talker, but my success rate is somewhat diminished when I am the audience. My inspirational speeches usually peak in the evening and wane as I sleep. Then I wake up in the morning with taste buds that have somehow managed to obtain bullhorns and are exuberantly extolling the merits of cold pizza for breakfast. On top of that, my ear-balls repeatedly demonstrate selective amnesia. They remember how lovely a pile of french fries can be, but seem to forget all of the reasons they heard the night before on why I should be eating healthy. The cream on top? My all-or-nothing personality. It sits on my shoulder like a mini-me with horns and whispers in my ear, telling me "Look what you did...welp! Its over now. Might as well find a nice comfy spot and make a happy plate out of that platter of cookies!" 

Yeah...so...this is my attempt to stop the cycle of madness. Get off this road to nowhere. It's time to fish or cut bait, pee or get off the pot, put up or shut up. Time to make it hap'n, cap'n!

So this week I am making some goals. Let's start small so we don't get overwhelmed and run into the night screaming. (Well, maybe more like mall-walk fast into the night. I mean, I am doing this because I am grossly overweight, so running is probably not...practical.)

Goal #1! And this is so hard for me. You have no idea how hard...I mean THIS is my Everest. I can't have diet Coke anymore. It's (figuratively) literally killing me. This is why I won't have a ton of goals this week. Just thinking about not sipping that sweet nectar of the soda gods...never having that bubbly sensation as the cup gets close to me and fizzes in my face...forever missing the 3 o'clock pick me up that gets me through a shift...oh diet Coke - why are you so delicious? Doesn't matter. It's irrelevant. I'm dropping you like it's hot. Kicking you to the curb. Run home to ya momma. The honeymoon is over, and we're getting annulled. *sniff - if you will excuse me, I need to take a minute to listen to some Sarah - I will remember yoooou!!!

Ok! Goal#2! Record my food every day! I mean, how hard is this?! Most of the time, I just get lazy but I have to be able to stick with this. And the goal is to record it all, no matter if I go over my cals or not. This WILL happen.

And thats it for me! Don't judge me, man. Have I not explained my weaknesses to you? I may have left out that I tend to go all in, fail, get discouraged and then give up. And, don't forget that mini-me sits on that shoulder, telling me that since I have messed up once I just might as well keep on going! Bring on the junk food! Sigh...

So I am starting small and working myself up to the grand finale. Wanna take a ride with me? I think it might be fun. ;D